Elizabeth Hurley and her husband, Arun Nayar, arrived Monday to kick off the next leg of their nuptial celebrations — six days of traditional Indian festivities that will culminate in a ceremony at a lavish palace.

Hurley and Nayar are also expected to attend a “mehendi” ceremony where intricate henna designs are applied on the bride’s hands a day before the lavish reception at the palace on Saturday.

I will keep an eye on this all week. Liz Hurley = HOT! Indian chicks = HOT! Henna Tats = HOT! Hopefully Liz will be in a nice toga, get the red dot thingy, and maybe a nose piercing? That’d be HOT!

Next up on Liz Hurley’s wedding tour: A stop in Arkansas, USA. Liz & her husband will attended a traditional stock car race, drink a couple 40’s and stay up for three days on crystal meth.

Associated Press banned writing about Paris Hilton for 1 week.

During “blackout week,” the AP didn’t mention Hilton’s second birthday party at a Beverly Hills restaurant, at which a drunken friend reportedly was ejected by security after insulting Paula Abdul and Courtney Love.

I don’t care that the AP didn’t write about Paris Hilton for 1 week. What I care about is that they blocked this story for so long:How the flying HELL do you insult Courtney Love!!?!! That, my friends, is the story of the year.

In other Paris news… she was busted for driving with a suspended license. It was suspended after being busted for a DUI, and she now faces up to 90 days in jail. Of course, she won’t get it. She won’t face jail time for two reasons:1. She’s a celebrity. 2. The LA jails are SO FULL that they only put people in Jail for felonies! After Michelle Rodriguez got busted for TWO DUI’s she begged for jail instead of the alternative: an ankle bracelet/monitor that monitors alcohol in the air, and sends a signal to the MAN. (She’s wearing the bracelet now. LOL.)

At an all-time low having shaved her head and fled rehab, Britney tried to hide away from friends and family by booking into the Mondrian hotel in L.A. The pop princess, sporting a blonde wig under a cap, hung out at the poolside Star Bar at the Mondrian. She begged strangers to talk to her and posed for photographs with hotel guests as if they were the close girlfriends.

Awww. Looks like wittle Brit needa ego boosty. When I need an ego boost, I usually just drink until I realize I love everyone and they love me. But I guess that’s against the rehab rules. Those prudes.

Britney needs friends? What a shocker! I mean… who WOULDN’T want to hang out with a red neck that has the intelligence level of a 9 year old? Not to mention the two kids and a wigger ex-husband. I’d need a bottle of Jack and an eightball just to last 5 minutes with that freak.

Angelina Jolie has filed papers to adopt a Vietnamese child, the country’s top adoption official said Friday

They’re like potato chips or tattoos, very addicting. Apparently, she likes sampling the world flavors. What? American children have too much fat? They full of artificial materials? Buy USA!

Jack, come on now. Everyone knows that Asian kids are better. Better in math, seeing in the dark, etc. Besides, they need less time in the shop & they get more milage. Sure they will never be able to drive well or reach the top shelf, but that’s a small price to pay for being so good at putting together electronics.