JESSICA ALBA IS SINGLE

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Sources tell Us that Alba, who was abroad over the weekend promoting Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, called Warren on July 22 and told him, “I’m not in love with you anymore.” Within hours, Alba had dispatched an assistant to the L.A. home they shared to pack up Warren’s belongings and move him out.’

The source claims the split “happened…almost out of nowhere.”

“[Cash] thinks it’s for another guy but doesn’t know….he’s totally devastated. But it was all her.”

Sorry but there is still only one Jessica for me.

Biel all the way baby!

I’m so sorry Jesus. I never should have doubted you. Here I thought you were not listening to my prayers as I knelt beside the bed in my jammies every night. Now I know better. Thank you Jesus. Now I would like to win the lottery… and marry Jessica.


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LINDSAY IS INNOCENT.

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Lindsay wrote the following e-mail to “Access Hollywood” host Billy Bush…”I am innocent…did not do drugs they’re not mine.”

Police say that when they approached Lindsay at about 1:30 am on Tuesday morning, in the parking lot of the Santa Monica Auditorium, she was unable to walk a straight line, as part of the field sobriety test. She was found to have a substance believed to be cocaine in the pocket of her jeans during the booking process, reports Gil Kaufman of MTV.

AND…

‘in the hours before Lindsay Lohan was busted for DUI, her lawyer knew she was in trouble and was desperately trying to find her. Sources say last Sunday, just before midnight, mega-lawyer Blair Berk got an ominous signal. The signal came from the SCRAM device that Lindsay agreed to wear on her ankle. The device tests for alcohol use and sounds an alarm to a designated person when alcohol is detected. We’ve learned that Berk was the designee.’

Yeah her Mega-Lawyer is the guy who knows about her ankle thingy. YEAH! I sooooo believe that guy.

He was claiming up and down that the thing has been active, that he has been getting regular reports and that she has been clean, until the night she got busted. It just so happens that the night she falls off the wagon she gets busted.

And a Lawyer who worries about a client? “Oh, there’s Linds ankle alarm. I better find her because she has fallen off the wagon.” Bull!

We’ll see some nice side-stepping here at her arraignment.

Yeah… Lindsay is claiming she just threw on a pair of pants as she left her home to drive totally wasted… and they were not her jeans, but a friends. So let me get this straight… DAYS out of rehab, Lindsay is getting drunk while having an alcohol bracelet on AND was hanging out with friends that do blow. Even if Lindsay IS innocent, she needs to be thrown in jail for just being a moron.

That’s my next invention… jail for stupid people.


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LINDSAY BUSTED AGAIN. (yes… again.)

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The troubled saga of Lindsay Lohan took another dangerous turn early Tuesday when police booked her for drunken driving and cocaine possession after a frightened woman dialed 911 to report being chased by Lohan’s SUV.

Less than two weeks out of rehab, with another drunk driving case pending, Lohan had a blood-alcohol level of between .12 and .13 percent when police found her about 1:30 a.m., Sgt. Shane Talbot said.

Authorities had received a 911 call from the mother of Lohan’s former personal assistant, said Officer Alex Padilla. The assistant had just quit hours before, he said.

“The mother was afraid,” Padilla said. “She wasn’t quite sure what was going on so she called the police saying she wanted to make sure everything was going to be OK.”

The woman apparently didn’t realize it was Lohan who was behind her, Padilla said.

Police said the woman drove her black Cadillac Escalade into the parking lot of Santa Monica’s Civic Auditorium, about a block away from the Santa Monica Police Department, followed by Lohan driving a Denali sport utility vehicle. Authorities arrived and saw Lohan and the woman in “heated debate,” Padilla said. Lohan and the woman each had two passengers in their vehicles, Padilla said.

After a field sobriety test, the 21-year-old movie star was booked on two misdemeanor charges of suspicion of driving under the influence and driving on a suspended license and two felony charges of possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic, Talbot said.

During a pre-booking search, police found cocaine in one of Lohan’s pants pockets, Talbot said.

Several hours later, Lohan was released on $25,000 bail.

Idiot.
Well this whole Lindsay saga went from slightly interesting to downright sad. Just how stupid is this chick? And by the way, I think it might be time to close down “Promises” rehab center. I think they proved once and for all that they are more of a ’spa’ than a ‘rehab’ center.

I hate to say it (no I don’t), but this is what happens when people do not spend time in JAIL for DUI and drug possession. And it’s not just celebrities. As human beings, we are too stupid to stop making mistakes on our own, so we need punishment. The three year old needs to get spanked, and the 21 year old needs some jail time. Paris Hilton’s judge knew this… let’s just hope Lindsay’s judge will too.

Whether it’s Robert Downey Jr, Daniel Badwin or Lindsay, these spoiled rich people don’t need ‘help’… they need a swift kick in the ass.


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I TOLD YOU TO WATCH.


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I told you to watch Big Brother 8, USA edition. Thanks to Jen Johnson, the “nanny”, the show is actually worth watching. Not only is she annoying and laughably stupid, she is also SOOO hot. In a recent competition, she lost and was forced to wear a red “unitard” for a week. Now stay with me folks… This chick couldn’t go a week without jumping into the hot tub, so she rearranged the unitard into a boob and butt hugging “bathing suit.” Wow. She’s got talent. And I’ve got a woody.


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LINDSAY TURNS HERSELF IN

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Lindsay Lohan turned herself in to face charges of driving under the influence in connection with the Memorial Day weekend hit-and-run crash that sent her into rehab. Accompanied by her attorney, the 21-year-old actress surrendered at the Beverly Hills Police Department Thursday afternoon to be fingerprinted and photographed, Officer Brian Ballieweg said.

Lohan’s blood-alcohol level at the time of the crash was above California’s 0.08 percent legal limit, Ballieweg said. He wouldn’t disclose how high it was. She is also faces a misdemeanor charge of hit and run, he said.

Lohan was released on her recognizance. A court date was scheduled for August 24.

And so it begins.After Paris’ stint, I bet the Sheriff’s Dept. is going crazy that gal pal number 2 might be going in, and for longer!
Ah well. I’d rather see Linds strip-searched than Paris any day.
I guess now we know why Lindsay is wearing the ankle bracelet. SO SHE WOULDN’T GO TO JAIL. Not like she would go anyway. Imagine if YOU slammed into a tree drunk, ran away from the crash, and the cops found co-caine in your trunk. Think you might be sitting in jail right now letting a guy named Chuck brush your hair and blow in your ear? Me thinkist so.


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